
I was making a new recipe today, and I was trying some Italian sausage that was hard like a pepperoni stick instead of crumbly like ground beef. After I had cooked it, I wanted to taste it to see if it was any good. The sausage had dots of peppercorns all over it, so I was afraid it was going to be too spicy.
I've had a bit of a cough for a while, just an irritation in the back of my throat, so I cough a little bit all day long. Well, that peppercorn hit me just right, and I started coughing my lungs out. One of those horrible hacking coughs where you just can't catch your breath, you can't talk, and you can't get any water down to stop it. My eyes were watering, and I was keeled over the sink just trying to get over it.
Meanwhile, the veggies are in the pan sauteing (I don't know how to spell that!), and all I could barely get out is "Get Dad!" Not that I'm worried about me - it was awful, but I knew I'd be fine - but I was worried that dinner was going to burn. So the kids go running around the house trying to find him, and they can't. They finally find him in the bathroom and tell him to hurry, it's an emergency. Then I realize that he's gonna get all worried, when there's nothing to be worried about, I just don't want dinner to stick and burn. So I get Eldon and motion to him to stir the veggies. He looks at me incredulously and says "Stir?" "Stir!", I choked out. And James all this time isn't coming. Why? Because our kids ALWAYS scream "Emergency!" when we're in the bathroom and they want to talk to us. Zachary's jumping on the bed? Emergency! Eldon stuck his tongue out at Jessie? Emergency! Erica's coloring on someone's paper? Emergency! So, naturally, James completely ignores them and takes his sweet time.
When he does come out, he sees what's going on and asks if I'm ok. I nod my head, thrust the recipe in his hand and point to the stove. I really was worried that dinner was going to burn. Oh, and while I'm hacking up my lungs trying to breathe, Zachary is pulling on my legs screaming "Up! Up!" I told James I could just envision me choking to death while some child pulled on my legs and screamed for me to pick them up. He said he was glad I wasn't really dying, because he wasn't listening to the kids. If it had been me, I wouldn't have listened to them either.
James did have to finish dinner. It took a good 20 minutes before I finally caught my breath and cleared everything out well enough that I could talk. I think I'll go back to the regular Italian sausage. Dinner was pretty good, but definitely not good enough to die for.